did you know that there's a zofran under my tongue
an explanation of who I'm becoming in 2024
To be honest, I’ve been struggling to write this newsletter all week. I’m getting over the flu and the medication I’m on is making me highly irritable. I’ve actually been struggling to write for the past six months. I’m deeply passionate about so much, but transporting them to my computer screen has been tricky.
This is mini rant, but I really wanted to do an end of year roundup because it’s fucking cliche and this was the year of realizing things!
2023 broke me the fuck down. Physically, emotionally, fiscally, mentally…the whole nine. But you bet I had a good time! Would I do it again? Fuck no. Nostalgia is fun, but I like leaving things where they are.
Typically, people like to do mood and inspiration boards for the upcoming year, but I don’t think I will for 2024. I instead would like to do a lore board—a complex collage of what made me who I am in 2024. I’ll break it down for you in four parts: wellness, relationships, media and career. 2023 was the year of lessons and I’ll put these lessons to use in 2024.
But before I get serious—here are the top three defining moments of my 2023.
1. pussy facing the world
You probably have all heard me say this in person, or convey this on social media in some form. And if you’re deeply confused, don’t be! This phrase originally came from a god awful, stupid meme someone edited of Jada Pinkett and Will Smith. It’s an innocent photo of the couple sitting down, but someone put lines and notes over the photo—suggesting that Jada is somehow more masculine than Will through things like “cock shame”, “leaning into her”, “ugly sneakers and most importantly, “pussy facing the world”. It stuck with me and until I see something more diabolical, I’ll keep using it.
2. Visiting Dubai
Your biggest fear should be putting $3,000 in my hands. I’m going right back to the UAE. The entire experience was perfect from the moment I got on the plane, to the moment I landed back in the U.S. I remember my best friend Ryanne casually inviting me and just saying yes with no clue how it was gonna happen. A true “I Saw Things I Imagined” moment. In my young life, it was the dream of a lifetime! Now, we did have some shitty moments and I almost fought a few taxi drivers but hey—the country is still beautiful. The mall, the mosque, Abu Dhabi, Miss Lily’s, the beach club, the three other bars we went to, the desert—the whole thing! Islam culture has such beautiful elements. A little pleasant surprise for me was the PLANE food. I’m very greedy and all of that food was a hit. I’m VERY particular about eggs, but I had some Americanized Shakshuka and I need it AGAIN.
3. Leaving my job
I joined the Dallas Morning News in 2021 as an audience journalist. I joined the audience team when it was just five of us and before I left we grew to about 10 people. I got a chance to cover the Texas freeze, school shooting tragedies, Juneteenth, the American Country Music Awards, Love is Blind premiere parties, The State Fair and so much more. I’ve learned a great deal and had an incredible Black lady boss. But I had a moment last summer where I felt I needed to leave. I was becoming miserable with the distance, the restraints, the pay and the changes. I wanted out. I had been looking for a new job, but the market was FUCKED. Nobody wanted to hire me or paid enough. Mind you, I was working TWO jobs. One with the DMN and part-time at a non-profit magazine. I realized I just don’t like being told what to do. So I originally sent in a notice to quit, but was persuaded to take a leave of absence. I had the BEST six weeks of my life. My birthday, a trip to Mexico, Pilates, The Dailey Tap-In. The perfect life. But that was short lived because I was fucking broke. And the things you experience when you’re poor. Luckily, I landed a new role at Reckon and could gracefully leave the DMN. Just know, I’ll never do that again.
Now for the fun shit!
you ever seen a bitch in pilates?
In 2024, I’ll be very serious about my fitness. I’m prioritizing pilates, cycling, gym and eating better. I’m taking my vitamins, my birth control and only ingesting things that are good for my body. I want to look like a mini version of Megan Thee Stallion. I want everyone drooling at my pictures. I also wanna start meditating and practicing more mindfullness. I want more time away from my phone and the shitty timelines! And instead of hastily quitting my job over a rough few days, I will literally just go get a deep-tissue massage. This second puberty I’m experiencing is really taking a toll on my body, so I’m pretty serious about it. And it only makes sense being that I’m in my first house year.
my love is taller than the empire state!
One of my biggest lessons this year is that there’s a lot of love in unexpected places. As I’ve aged, I’ve become a lot more into myself and self-critical. I’m very sensitive and the world we live in does not give a fuck. I’m a big girl and I handle a lot on my own, but I’m always grateful for the people in my life that has shown me they care. I may not have said it personally, but I was down A LOT and my best friends, co-workers, cousins and family’s acts of kindness has carried me through. I hate to even address it now, but I had a really awful breakup last year that left me gutted. I felt like it was the healthiest relationship I’ve had—and it still ended. And in a traumatic way like oh my fucking god? But with my therapist and my friends, I’ve just got to except that I’m one of ten real lovers left. The only person that deserves my love is me. So I’ll be spending some time alone in 2024!
fingering a freebleeding heiress to rid her eating disorder is crazy.
Surprisingly, I’m super pleased with all the movies, TV shows and podcasts I’ve experienced this year. I love the kooky, fucked up, mysterious, nasty taboo shit. But also the funny uniqueness of reality TV. THAT is my jam. I love the underworld stuff. I ended the year blindwatching Saltburn where a handsome Irish actor does some crazy shit to a rich family. It really gets me going. And don’t let this reading go to waste; Here are all of my favorite media to consume.
TV Shows: Trafficked With Mariana van Zeller, Hell’s Kitchen, The Bear Season 2, Desperate Housewives, Swarm and Catfish.
Movies: Saltburn, Talk to Me, The Little Mermaid, Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé, The Blackening, Bottoms, Missing and Barbarian.
Podcasts: The Bald & The Beautiful, Sistas Who Kill and The Read.
I would’ve done music too, but it’s too hard to choose.
[slack notification sound followed by intense crying]
Between quitting my job and getting a new one, I had been working on a six-month long project about food accessibility in Tallahassee on FAMU’s and FSU’s campus. During undergrad, I just felt like FSU students or FSU “territory” had better and healthier food options. So I teamed up with Casey Chapter and collected data, interviews and filmed a documentary on the topic thanks to a grant from the Education Writers Association. I’d love if you could check it out! I now work full-time at Reckon as a social media producer, where I focus on social projects based on trending topics or stories from the reporters. I design & curate Instagram posts and produce TikToks and reels. But now that the project is complete, I look forward to stepping away from projects that aren’t my own. I surely won’t be resting on my laurels, but I just wanna focus on The Dailey Tap-In. On-camera work is my first love and I need to be consistent. Outside of my role at Reckon, NO distractions.
If you made it all the way through, congrats! I appreciate your subscription and eyes so much! Happy 2024 and more mini rants to come.
As a reward, here are some nudes I took last year. ;)