friendships facing everywhere all at once
friendships amongst women are the most important thing in the world.
Pussy facing everything everywhere all at once. I woke up in a new Bugatti!
If you don’t speak internet, you’re probably super thrown off. Between myself and a group of my close friends, this was the running joke all weekend. The Tally Wiggies consist of my good friends Noella, Aolani and Cydian. We became close after terrorizing Tallahassee, FL in colorful wigs. This year for Cydian’s birthday in Dallas was the first time we’ve all been reunited since 2020. Here are four key lessons I’ve learned from the weekend.
There’s going to be conflict in friendships.
Last week, an article was being circulated about using therapy speak as a way to end friendships in a cold-hearted way. Majority of the quotes and tweets about this story agree about who the victims and villains are. But I had a very hard time empathizing with the “victims”. I felt like I needed to learn more about these situations or a lot of these people just have low self-esteem. We kept talking about it and ultimately discussed different ways to resolve conflict in our friendships—especially our friendships with women because they can feel irreplaceable sometimes. Communicate with your friends like you usually would, be cognizant of how your friends react to certain words or actions, be compassionate and don’t let dumb shit like niggas, money or the internet interfere with what you have. Women are truly better together. And if not, there’s no need for a big fall-out or shade. Just realize where things stand and let it go.
Learn what your hobbies are and DO THEM.
Let’s be clear, hobbies can be expensive and time consuming—but life is too fucking short. With the Wiggies in town, we talked a lot about our jobs, burnout, money and restrictions. I expressed that I no longer care to make my job the center of my life. It’s only part of it. Noella and I wanna read more books, even though we struggle with keeping up after a couple pages. Noella is writing a book, deejaying, I’m learning how to do nails, Aolani is learning how to cook and play video games, and Cydian dances for The Dallas Stars. These little glimpses of my friends doing what makes them happy outside of capitalism makes me warm inside. Every weekend should feel like a Wiggies weekend—endlessly frolicking across Dallas for good food, being silly, dance clubs and fancy hotels.
Childhood Nostalgia.
Your girlfriends are always a great way to relive or reflect on the things that made your childhood. Noella is a passionate gamer and comic book lover. So she was over the moon to to see The Super Mario Bros. Movie—yes, she cried. We also played our switches together, which felt slightly like a fever dream because our heads were empty trying to connect the game controllers and deciding our order of turns. We also spent time at a food hall and talked about the “third place.” I’ll dissect this in a future newsletter, but it’s essentially where teenagers go if it’s not home or school. Sitting in the food hall helped us realize it’s a great place to feel a bit of safety and experience community. Our third places were libraries, Walmarts, McDonald’s and gyms. But even our options coulda been better.
Tell your friends you love them.
It’s no secret that my friends and I are a little fruity sometimes. But that’s just the playfulness and strength of our relationship. I can’t count on my hands how many times my friends simply stated, “I love you guys”. It’s the kind of affirmation you need to hear from your friends. We held hands, hugged each other and turned our immediate attention if one of us needed help. Friendships amongst women heavily embody true love. This weekend showed me how much compassion, empathy, urgency, kindness and goofiness my friendships carry. From supporting Cydian at her game, embracing Aolani when she cries, being excited for Noella when she gets vegan food, to being graceful when my tire bust—I love you guys and the relationship we have.
Oh how I love being a woman!
i love you so much especially after u told everyone that i was bawling after the movie