why have one husband when you can have two?
will Seeking Brother Husband help me see the good in plural relationships?
About eight months ago, I fell down a never-ending rabbit hole that even my long-ago ex knows I enjoy from my social media posts. The rabbit hole in question? Polygamous television. At the moment, I’m tuned into TLC’s Seeking Brother Husband and I’ll be eagerly watching their journey.
It all started with the OG, breakout stars of Sister Wives— the Brown family that consisted of Kody Brown and his four wives—Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. I only started watching eight months ago, but when the show premiered in 2010, TRUST me it was a big deal. I remember seeing them in tabloids and daytime television interviews that year. They got so much attention with the show early on that they fled their home state to avoid persecution, as polygamy was considered a felony in Utah.
In an extremely condensed overview of the series, Kody Brown was legally married to Meri and was spiritually married to the others and navigated life as a Mormon, unconventional, family with 18 children. Of course that shit is crazy and they definitely had their highs and lows. But after digesting 10 years worth of their lives, you realize Kody brown is simply not a good person and entered his marriages as the star—the prize, leaving his children and wives (all but one and the youngest) out to dry.
So of course I had to ask, what is the point of poly relationships—especially amongst men with multiple wives, if not greed? I really wanted to gain a different perspective, but these men are simply greedy and egotistical. Zero dick control.
Then I fell into Seeking Sister Wives and saw the same patterns. Most of these men just wanted their cake and to eat it too—and blamed God or religion. Or found a reason to ethically fuck someone else and keep their first partner in the picture. (Hey, the more income, the merrier) But I’ll admit, there were a few that seemed truly devoted to all their partners, children and balanced every relationship equally.
What I’m getting at, is why do these men get to have all of these wives? And after watching so much of it, so many of these women seem miserable holding the short end of the stick. I remember ranting to my boyfriend saying, “Where the hell is the brother husband show?” And the TLC gods answered my requests.
Similar to the shows mentioned, Seeking Brother Husband focuses on polyandry, the practice of a woman having multiple husbands. I know it’s only the first episode, but so far the women’s reasoning for plural marriage is rooted in practicality and honesty. No bullshit coverup or manipulation.
During her sit down, one of the wives Kenya simply put it, “I’m dating because I’ll always be dating. It’s just fun…This is not rocket science. We all love attention, energy, relationships and love.”
I’m definitely biased with the women, but I honestly just wanted to see an even playing field with both women and men in plural marriages. The wives brought up misogyny, sex shaming—but the one thing polygamy and polyandry have in common?
Jealousy. And boy does it look like it’s oozing in this series—no different than the other plural marriage shows.
Would I ever be in a plural relationship? Watching all of these shows will have you asking yourself that. But hey, if the lord sees fit…
Watch Seeking Brother Husband on TLC every Sunday night or Discovery+ the next day!